Saturday, August 29, 2015

We are our worst enemy.



This morning I read an article on a very popular parenting site - the blogger had a friend who had just moved to a new town and a mom invited her and her daughter to a birthday party. The party had a dress up theme where the girls got a princess make over (which included make up) and were able to walk a red carpet laid out for them.  Instead of using this opportunity to meet new friends in her new town, the mom then turned around went to her friend and bashed the party theme, the mothers involved and of course the blogger decided to post it online.

Now, I am fully aware that not every little girl is into princess dresses and make up. My problem is -why do grown women feel the need to bash those that do? In a society where women empowerment is becoming a big movement, why do we put down the image of the "Girly girl"? Shouldn't all women be celebrated? Does make up and dresses somehow diminish a woman's worth? Shouldn't we teach our girls that make up and dresses are NOT what define a woman.

I have found myself wondering what the people will think when my daughter picks up a barbie at the toy store, now it's not being about "gender specific" toys, it's more that anything that is considered overly girly is often looked down upon. Do we judge boys when they are overly "boyish"? is there such a thing as "overly boyish"? The term "boys will be boys" is often used as a light hearted excuse for boys behaviors but more and more we see these "feminist" women trying to almost erase all things "girly". 

Princesses, dresses, tutus, dolls to me all represent a little girls' imagination and innocence yet some people try to make it an oppressive item. Like being into disney princesses at the age of 3 is somehow condemning my daughter to be a lesser woman, as if she won't be a productive member of society. A little girl can like Disney Princesses, and know that what matters isn't the color of their dress. In a REAL life situation, I asked my 3 year old who her favorite Disney Princess was - expecting the answer to be Elsa- she looked at me and said "Tiana", when I pushed for why Tiana was her favorite she said "Because she works very hard." - Why is a 3 year old girl able to look past the make up and hair but grown women get so hung up on it?

Women nowadays are condemned for their choices, if you choose to be a stay at home mom, play a traditional role in the home, even if you are a working mom there is always someone on the sidelines waiting to knock you down - more often than not, that someone is another woman. 

Why do we pick and choose who to root for? Shouldn't all women be empowered? Don't we all have the choice? Who decides which choice is more important? Is a full time mom less a woman than one with a career? Does a little girl playing in the dirt with boys have a more promising future than the one playing with her dolls in a dress? can't a little girl do both?

It truly saddens me that women are still our own worst enemies. It goes far beyond the mommy wars now. We don't need to be less "girly" to be stronger. We don't need to be more "girly" to be more of a woman -  so let's just stop. Let's encourage each other, let's help each other, let's teach our daughters to not be like us. Let's teach the next generation of women that all women are valuable, all are important, all serve a purpose. Let's stop knocking each other down and let's be the example our girls need. 




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